Couples Therapy

Therapy For Couples

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
~ Henry Ellis

  • Does your relationship with your partner feel distant?
  • Do you feel like the relationship is stuck at a standstill?
  • Are you and your partner stuck in the same old argument loop every night?
  • Do you or your partner act dismissive, defensive, critical, or contemptuous?
  • Are you and your partner feeling frustrated, disconnected, resentful, or like you’re constantly walking on eggshells?
  • Are you wondering what happened to the way things were?
  • Do you desire more intimacy and connection?

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

~ Carl Jung

Something has changed, and it might feel like you both are no longer really trying. It has become easier and easier to ignore the problem, hold onto resentments, or just do your own thing… You can’t remember the last time you both talked –really talked– and connected. You might think that keeping quiet and just going with the flow can make the relationship better and avoid unnecessary conflict, but in reality, this is a recipe for disaster because it’s a guaranteed way to harbor resentments.

Perhaps you’ve tried to share your experiences, or express your deepest thoughts and feelings, but you feel that your partner just doesn’t understand you or doesn’t care enough to really listen. Your relationship problems may feel overwhelming. Maybe you’re afraid that if you faced these issues with your partner, the relationship might not survive.

How Do You and Your Partner Deal with Conflict in The Relationship?

All relationships have ups and downs and most couples disagree and argue! It’s totally normal to have conflict, disagreements or arguments from time to time. Conflicts & arguments won’t necessarily jeopardize a relationship. In fact, there are times when disagreements can actually bring you much closer together.

The key is how you and your partner decide to handle (ie resolve) the conflict.

A conflict is more than just a disagreement. It’s a situation in which one, or both, of you perceive a threat (whether or not the threat is real). Conflicts often trigger strong emotions and continue to fester when they are ignored. We respond to conflicts based on our own history, unresolved “stuff,” and perceptions of the situation. Conflicts are an opportunity for growth both as individuals and as a couple. When, as a couple, you’re faced with struggling together to confront your issues, you build a shared history. You create something worth fighting for because you’ve fought for (and through) it…Together.

Attachment styles can have a profound impact on our relationships.

We establish our attachment styles as children. That attachment style affects us in every single relationship in our life, especially in romantic relationships. Knowing your unique attachment style can help you become more self-aware and build/sustain healthier long-term partnerships.

(* For more information on the different attachment styles, please go to my relationship therapy page).

Couples Therapy

We are social creatures. We strive towards feeling a sense of belonging and connection. Satisfying, long-term relationships require effective communication, mutual respect, and consideration of both partners’ needs. Couples therapy can be tremendously helpful for couples going through all sorts of challenges. Many relationships get stuck at some point and it can feel impossible to find your way back to how thigs once were.

Couples therapy offers a safe space to work through issues and obstacles you can’t seem to clear on your own. You and your partner will learn to better identify your needs and desires and attend to one another’s mutual growth. You will learn each other’s love language so you can express and receive love in a meaningful and effective way. While every relationship is unique, I believe there is always a way to find repair and re-connection; couples therapy can help get your relationship to a positive, loving, safe place.

Some issues that bring couples to therapy are:

  • Addiction/Partner addiction support
  • Balance (Work/Life/Family)
  • Blended families
  • Changes in habits or behaviors
  • Chronic illness
  • Different love languages
  • Divorce
  • Emotional disconnect
  • Extended family
  • Issues of trust, control, jealousy or possessiveness
  • Feelings of betrayal/Infidelity
  • Lack of affection or Intimacy
  • Life transitions
  • Mental illness
  • One or both partners experiencing anxiety, depression, loss of a job or a family member
  • Parenting issues
  • Poor or ineffective communication skills
  • Pornography
  • Pre-Marital/Readiness
  • Sex and intimacy

Successful Couples:

  • Have the desire, ability and skills to communicate effectively and solve problems
  • Focus on addressing/taking care of the issue at hand, rather than attacking the other person
  • Find a way to stay connected, even when feeling triggered or angry
  • Forgive and move on once the matter is resolved
  • Have the ability to live and grow through discomfort and interpersonal difficulties

I provide couples with a safe space to explore and resolve uncomfortable issues. Sessions are collaborative and focused. You will learn strategies for healthier, happier communication, which will foster a deeper, more meaningful connection. We will identify your goals for couples therapy by assessing the goals of each individual within the relationship, and we’ll work on a game plan on how to get there.

We will work together to:

  • Increase intimacy, honesty, safety, and feelings of connection
  • De-escalate and resolve conflicts
  • Understand what may be taking place for each of you and be able to express it in a safe space
  • Learn how to really become attuned to what the other’s emotions are and help you to truly hear each other without the noise of old baggage
  • Become more mindful of each other’s needs/wants and the overall needs of the relationship
  • Reconnect to who you were, and also to who you both are now
  • Gain a sense of being seen, heard, loved and validated
  • Bring romance back into your life
  • Manage financial issues
  • Develop tools for better, more effective, communication
  • Work through parenting issues

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